Setting Healthy Boundaries with Your Family Over the Holidays

Did you know that you can reduce a lot of the stress you experience over the holidays by setting boundaries? 

The holidays can be a magical time when you’re young, but they are also filled with challenges. Maybe you’re burned out because you have a long list of things to do and no time. Or perhaps you want to buy nice gifts for your family but you don’t have the financial means to do so. 

While you can’t erase all of the hurdles that come with the holidays, you can certainly alleviate some. Having healthy boundaries tells you and others what is okay and not okay. 

You’re never too young to have boundaries. In fact, by enforcing them early on, you’ll have an easier time in life moving forward. People will know how you like to be treated, and you can prevent burnout, stress and anxiety. 

Below are some tips to help young people establish healthy boundaries with family over the holiday season. 

Know Your Limits 

The holidays are busy, but you should understand your limits and how much you can physically and emotionally take on. Look at your calendar and pick a few events to attend. You do not need to attend them all. Make sure that you’re leaving time to relax and practice self-care. When you know your limits and avoid taking on too much, you free up time and energy for the things you really love. 

Prepare to Speak Up 

Dealing with difficult relatives can drain you of your resources, so be prepared to stand your ground. If you’re not normally good at setting boundaries, you might get some pushback. But don’t let this deter you. Remember that your needs matter, and stand firm in the things you will and will not tolerate. 

In some cases, you may need to be very clear about your boundaries. For example, if you do not want to discuss your grades in school or your love life, tell your family that this topic is off limits and not something you’re discussing right now. Your family does not have to understand your boundaries to respect them. 

Be Consistent 

If you want your family to respect your boundaries, you must be consistent with the rules you set. Don’t let them slide, as this sends the message that it’s acceptable to undermine you. Show others that you are strict with your boundaries, and they’ll be more likely to take them seriously, too. For instance, if you say that you’re going to leave at a certain time or not talk about certain topics, follow through with them. 

Don’t Let Guilt Drive Your Decisions 

How often do you do things because you feel guilty? While it’s important to act respectfully, guilt shouldn’t define your decisions. Make decisions that are best for you and stick with them. Giving in to the expectations of others will only set you up for disappointment and more guilt in the future. 

And, once you get used to putting your needs first, you’ll see that this is nothing to feel guilty about! If anything, it will make you a happier, more secure and more giving person. After all, it’s easier to be there for others when your needs are met. 

Setting Healthy Boundaries Over the Holidays 

Setting boundaries is an important part of growing up and becoming an adult. If this is something that you struggle with due to your upbringing or a mental health disorder, contact Bridge The Gap. Our mentorship services can teach you the importance of setting healthy boundaries and being true to yourself.